Let’s talk about being Queer.
Being Queer means code switching between so many different groups. Being Queer means choosing which closet to come out of, and when. Being Queer intersects gender, sex, and sexuality while also recognizes each as their own respective roller coaster. Being Queer means balancing authenticity on the razor sharp edge of social expectation. Being Queer means living in that liminal place between being respected and understood.
And being Queer can be exhausting. Whether you’re treated as an in-house sexologist by all your friends asking inappropriate questions about genitalia, or whether you’re bullied for being different, or reduced to being invisible in public spaces: Being Queer can be exhausting. Yet being Queer can also grant us an unparalleled liberty, free of judgement and the chains of normalcy as we explore the edge of who we are. Being Queer allows us to reinvent ourselves, and most importantly, trust our instinct to play and love.
I am a Queer Counselor. As a licensed mental health counselor I specialize in self-actualization, as I love helping people embrace who they really are. This often means letting go of maladaptive coping mechanisms, grieving a deep sense of personal loss, and finding a path through anxiety and trauma. As an eclectic practitioner I believe there’s no one size fits all therapeutic model, yet as a gender affirmative therapist I often use a balance of narrative therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy in my relational approach.
I have a long history in the LGBTQ+ community, and in 2020 I published ACT For Gender Identity: The Comprehensive Guide, a therapeutic manual teaching mental health practitioners how to apply mindfulness based practices to transgender and nonbinary issues. If you’re curious about why I favor the word Queer check out my Queer Theorist page. If you’d like to read more about how to build a gender affirmative practice, check out my Queer Counselor blog on Psychology Today.
There’s a lot to being a Queer Counselor, as there’s a lot to do and many ways to help. In the community, I’ve provided ally training, safe-space networking, support group facilitation, and cultivated neighborhood resources. In session, I’ve provided rites of passage mentorship, career counseling, case management, substance abuse recovery, and trauma therapy. And that’s only the start. Being a gender affirmative therapist goes way beyond just validating a person’s pronouns. It means recognizing the difference between autoplastic problems, like letting go of old defenses that are no longer necessary, and alloplastic problems, like taking and active role to help clients address systemic problems in the workplace, or directly connecting a client to resources, allies, and safe spaces in the community.
As a fun side note, I am currently earning my certification in Sandplay Therapy.
COVID-19: In response to COVID-19 I am currently not seeing clients at this time, and will be focusing on promoting my new book ACT For Gender Identity during the upcoming months. Please follow me at
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Queer Counselor on Psychology Today